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Push-up Push Back: who says women can't?

2/16/2014

 
Actual conversation with a co-worker yesterday:
<I walk in on the middle of a conversation about push-ups>
Her: "I can't do a push-up."
Me: <butting in> "Can't? Or won't try?"
Her: "No, I can't. Women can't do push-ups."
Me: "You're kidding, right?"
Her: "No. I hate them."
Me: "Okay, but that doesn't mean women can't DO them."

Her: "There are studies! It's unnatural for females. We have a different centre of gravity. It's physics."
Me: <deep breath, using all the restraint I have> "So, you've never seen a woman do a push-up?"
Her: "Well, apparently Michelle Obama and Ellen deGeneres can do them, but that's because they're shaped like men."
Me: "Explain." <not letting her off the hook>
Her: "If you have any kind of butt that sticks out, or boobs, if you're shaped like a woman, then it's too hard. Physics."
Me: "I'm pretty sure it's about the strength in your chest and arm muscles, and having a strong core."
Her: "I don't think they're that good for you, anyway."
Em: <chimes in> "Are you kidding? They work your arms, your chest, your legs, your back. They're awesome!"
<She's right; they're one of the
best bodyweight exercises you can do. Especially when you do them right.>
Her: "Well, if women can do them, then why do they even HAVE women's push-ups? You're supposed to do them from your knees."
[No. No, you're not. It's a regression, an adaptation, and
not a very effective one. You start from your knees so that you can build up to other variations, whether you're a guy or a girl.]
Me: <facepalm>
Her: "Okay, but wouldn't you agree that they're easier for men to do?"
Me: "How am I supposed to measure that? It probably depends on the man."

I look around. It's a Saturday. Not many people are in our office area. I look to the co-worker with whom the conversation started, who's been listening, who happens to do kickboxing. She also happens to be wearing a dress, and I'm in a frilly blouse. My mind weighs the pros and cons. I raise my eyebrows. "Emily? You wanna join me?"
Tell me again that women can only do push-ups from our knees. Puh-leeze.

I've read about some of these arguments before. And perhaps she's right that it's harder for women to condition themselves to be able to do full-on pushups, especially right away. They require upper body strength, and men often have more muscle and strength in the chest. (20% more, not gazillions). Push-ups also require a stronger core for women, to compensate for the extra weight in the lower body (that butt argument she was trying to make). I just can't quite believe that the conversation happened. That, in this day and age, anyone would seriously try to argue that women - an entire gender - can't do something when there's proof everywhere that with practice, we absolutely can.

I called her on what she was really saying. I said, "I can accept that you don't like them, that you don't want to do them, and even that you will never, ever try one again. But don't throw all women under that bus. Just admit that it's your CHOICE, not your ability." Now, when she says "I can't do a pushup" she quickly amends it to "Well, I don't want to."
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Still. She must have got the idea from somewhere. This is a smart lady. Well read. And yet she vehemently argued that women were not able to do full pushups. Why?

Because she needed the excuse. Even by the end, she admitted that she just hates pushups, and feels weak for not being able to do one. It's a lot easier to blame science than to say "I can't do it." Guess what? I used to not be able to do them, either. It wasn't because I was a girl. It probably wasn't even because I was fat. It was because I didn't practice.


I gave myself a lot of excuses for not doing things at different sizes. Being a girl was never, ever one of them. In fact, had this conversation happened a hundred pounds ago, I would still have called her on it.
I'd have got my feminist back up against the wall. I just would have had to look up videos for proof, and articles combating her flawed reasoning, instead of being able to show her myself. The thing is, there's a danger in perpetuating these gender-based lies, even if it makes you feel better about yourself.

The push-up looks impressive, and is often tied to pride and ego. That can make it easy to dismiss as an exercise. Granted, as a measurement tool for overall fitness, it can't stand alone (and it often does, in fitness tests for military or police training). If the push-up is being used as a party trick to show off, then sure - dismiss it. It's so much more than that, though. The functional fitness that comes from building the strength to do push-ups applies to women, just as much as men. Having a strong core? Not just about sexy abs. When your core is strong, daily movements are easier, and you reduce your risk of injury. That's kind of a big deal for women. You can carry that heavy load of laundry, lift a kid over a snow bank, shovel your driveway, carry boxes up and down stairs, and bring all your groceries in from the car in just one trip. Strength training helps reduce the risk of osteoporosis, which affects women at a much higher rate than men. And for the aging population, when balance and falling become a tad more common, the ability to catch yourself and break a fall with your arms and wrists can not be over stated. Practicing push-ups is preventative medicine.

Tell me again why push-ups aren't useful for women?


It comes down to gender stereotypes, which is why I'm more worked up about this than if it were simply an argument about which form of exercise is more enjoyable or what burns more calories.


".Push-ups are a symbol of everything we have done wrong in fitness, especially for women. There's been a tremendous focus on cardio exercise above all else, especially because it burns calories, even though strength training increases your resting metabolism, and therefore, yes, burns calories.

W
omen don't do push ups because they think of them as a man exercise. Same goes for weightlifting. We teach women to strive for thin and toned, but not strong and powerful. I mean, be athletic, but not so athletic that you can kick a guy's rear end at strength endeavors. We're taught to hide our strength or minimize it or just avoid using it altogether."
                                                                             - Push ups giving women a bad rep
It comes back to the idea that women's fitness focus should be on weight loss, on getting skinny, because that's the feminine ideal. Be thin, not strong. It's an insidious message that carries with it decades of misogyny: women are weak, women need to be pleasing to look at, women should subjugate themselves to men. If the push-up is about strength and power, and you believe that women can't do push-ups, what are you really saying?

Hearing a smart woman who's interested in health say "women can't do push-ups" and mean it, even a little, was not a personal physical challenge to me. It was an affront to my gender identity.

It's not a good idea to tell me I can't do something.
It's really, really, really not a good idea to tell me I can't do it because I'm a woman.
Lesson learned.
LCP
2/15/2014 11:19:29 pm

I just don't like push-ups. Women CAN do them of course but women can't shovel the driveway. Ha-ha! So my hubby does ;)

LCP
2/16/2014 12:01:47 am

I am kidding of course, just to be clear.

Barb
2/16/2014 07:52:14 am

Ha. Well, I'm not sure many people actually LIKE pushups. They just make you feel bad-ass when you're done doing them.

And as for shoveling, by all means: make the hubby work. Not because you can't, of course. Just because ... you can make him. ;)
Hey, the guys need their core strong, too!

Emily
2/15/2014 11:21:08 pm

Next week handstand push ups http://youtu.be/RAO7OG077Ac

Barb
2/16/2014 07:52:53 am

Good grief. I created a monster...

K
2/15/2014 11:43:06 pm

Speaking as a former athlete (I have to work on that again) and a coach of many years in a sport that requires all over conditioning of core strength, extreme endurance, leg and arm strength I can attest to the fact that the only thing that ever stops someone from achieving what they want out of sport is their mental conditioning. All of the physical can be achieved to varying degrees as long as the mind is willing. It is bridging the gap between "Ow that hurts" and the realization that with time the soreness goes away and is replaced by a sense of accomplishment followed closely by a sense of well being and achievement. And for many it is the desire to go for more.

From just to learning the basics of a sport and finding out you don't like it but put an effort into learning that it wasn't for you, to falling in love with a sport or many; it is the willingness to engage yourself, and push to see if you like it that is what sport and life are all about. It has nothing to do with gender or any supposed differences. The difference is how we react to challenges. The one thing with sport- is to enjoy the hell out of what you are doing; and take it to where you want to. As you said "I used to not be able to do them, either. It wasn't because I was a girl. It probably wasn't even because I was fat. It was because I didn't practice. " and with practice you do get better.

My Mom had this one rule when I was growing up- (OK she had many but this one was a great one)... When new food is put down in front of you, eat what is on your plate. Taste it, roll it around in your mouth and experience it. Don't let one mouthful determine if you like it. After finishing off your plate, decide if you like it or not. If you're not sure then next time it shows up on your plate, try it again. If you hated it after- and only after the first plate- then you don't have to eat it again. That in itself applies to the plate of sport, relationships, learning and work for me.

The only thing that I have ever found that stops someone from achieving their goals is that of self-determination. Some are determined not to... and some are determine to. You are so right when you say that pushups need to start from the knees- those are called beginner pushups- they condition your muscles to get ready for the full pushups. They are not a test of overall fitness or strength but an indicator that you are doing some things right and the full on pushup is the proof in the pudding or pushup in this case.

Barb, it is great to see your determination and energy for your training being put to words (and now video). Keep practicing!

Em
2/16/2014 12:12:46 am

Well said!

Barb
2/16/2014 07:56:11 am

Thanks! You're so right: it's all about determination. And patience, to do it over and over again, because you don't always notice the progression until one day you wake up and go "whoa, I can do several push-ups in a row. When did I become THAT person?" Small things daily. That's the key.


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