Which video is the best? You tell me! Vote for your favourite.

The Summer session of Outdoor Fitness Challenge started this week. The twice weekly, 8-week Spring session ended about two weeks ago. There were a few days when we had pictures taken, and I put them into video slideshow montages.

I just couldn't quite decide on which music mix to use, so I made 3 short videos. Feedback was that the pictures moved too quickly, so I added a fourth video which is longer, but lingers on each photo for those who want to see every drop of sweat or grimace of effort.

I'm going to leave it up to YOU to decide which one is the best! Watch them all then vote for your favourite. There's no real prize, here. Nothing more than sharing the videos with people who've heard us talk about the ODFC for the past two months. It gives us all a way of showing what we went through. As one friend who joined me for the drop-in option one morning observed, "Sufferfest was better than I thought." But it was still, some days, a sufferfest, and a camaraderie grew out of the shared experience: muscles that were sweaty, stiff and sore. And strong.

It's an outdoor boot-camp style of class, technically considered small-group personal training. I did it last summer, when it was brand new, and I was immediately hooked. So, when Mat offered it again this year, there was no hesitation for me to sign up (especially since it's the closest thing at the Y that can approximate training for obstacle course races, like the BadAss Dash). That friendships formed and strengthened was a bonus. It's one of the best things I can say about small-group training, in general: you get to know people in a way that you simply don't through classes or one-on-one training, but you also work with a personal trainer who can adapt a program for each participant.

Below are the videos. I hope they capture how much fun we had, while working our butts off.

Then, let us know which version you enjoyed the most!

How do you stay motivated? The last few posts have been about de-motivation. About how hard it is to make the choices every day that keep you going. So, what works?

A full arsenal. You kind of have to arm yourself with as many tools as you can. Ultimately, the determination and habit and effort come from within. Motivation is often external. That's okay! There are some days when I get to the gym hours later than I had originally planned. I don't want to go. I'm not feeling it. I have to psych myself up. I'm learning to get that psych from within myself, to change the voice in my head (and training her to be nicer, not so abusive). Some days, I need an outside voice.

Motivational Quotes
I used to collect these on cue cards, back in my camp days before the Internet. "Thought for the Day" was part of the cabin routine, and let's face it: summer camp is all about the cheesy feel-good motivational feelings. Man, the World Wide Web has made it so much easier to find those quotes! They are everywhere on social media: Pinterest, Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr. Heck, you can just use Google Images to find a lot of great ones. Read as many as you need to, until those are the words in your head. Eventually, you will come to believe them. I surround myself with them: they are on my phone, they are my screensavers and desktops. I have an album on Facebook that I can flip through when I need to. I've even put a bunch of my favourites in their own page on this website.

Music
While the motivational quotes are all about the visual, music fills your ears and your head. It can drown out the voice of negativity, with the words and the beat. The best workout songs are the ones with the fast pace AND the motivational, encouraging words. But there are so many songs which are about hope, perseverance, and life lessons that it's not a bad idea to make a playlist for the car, for your iPod or MP3 player, for your computer at work or at home, and plug in whenever you need to. Whether it's while you're active and working out, or whether it's just to get you out the door, music is a huge motivator. (Some of my favourite songs that really pump me up are here).

Friends and Community
There's nothing better for motivation than someone else saying, "let's go!" and "you can do it." The caveat here is that you have to ask for it (or, if you're trying to be their motivation, make sure they actually want it). There have been plenty of recent studies around using shame as a motivator - very common practice when it comes to obesity and weight loss - and if you're trying to impose a desire onto someone else, it is likely to backfire. But when the person wants it, needs support, and has asked for it, then a friend is just about the best thing there is. One of the most amazing things to have happened with the 55 Day Challenge is how people that I know, but who have never met, are encouraging and congratulating each other for their accomplishments. I've had people reach out and say "I'm having a really bad eating day. Help!" and I've done that to others, too. There's a solidarity in understanding the journey, even though we all have to walk our own path. It's more than having someone to work out with, or to share tips and recipes with, it's having people to talk to. This is, after all, an emotional journey for most of us.

Find friends who have similar health and fitness interests. Increase your circle of influence. Go online to find communities if your real life circle isn't wide enough. There are tons out there, from "fitblrs" on Tumblr, to the boards on My Fitness Pal, to Weight Watcher meetings in person.

Rewards and Celebrations
Speaking of Weight Watchers, one of the most positive aspects of my brief membership with them (about 10 years ago), was the rewards. You literally got a gold star for every 5 lbs you lost, and a ribbon for every 10 lbs. And then you'd sit at the AA-style meeting and they'd ask people to share their successes. You know what? I defy anyone to stand up, say "I lost 2.2 lbs this week!" and not feel a little glow when the room bursts out in applause and cheering. Celebrating the small milestones along the way helps tremendously in keeping the motivation going. For a journey that is based on baby steps and one-day-at-a-time, it's the only way to keep any kind of momentum.

Stories
While friends and communities are active support systems, it's great to use the passive ones, too. When you start looking, there are quite a lot of success stories to be found. In fact, I was hesitant to start this blog because I felt that there are so many out there already, why bother adding one more voice? But I got a message from someone, a friend of a friend, who said "thanks for sharing your journey. I need to lose 140 lbs or so. Before your share all I found were people who were 5, 10 maybe 15 pounds over weight and I felt hopeless and alone. If losing 10 lbs was the biggest challenge of their life ,what hope did I have? After reading your story I realize I need to focus on me and me only and that there is hope." And I realized that perhaps I am aware of how many blogs, Facebook pages, articles and sites there are with regular people who've had long-term, healthy success. But I've spent a lot of time looking. Maybe they're not as obvious or ubiquitous as I thought. They ARE out there, though, if you look.

You can find motivation in a lot of places, but you have to be looking for it. It's temporary and fleeting, so you are constantly replenishing your tank. What I found, especially when I hit the wall HARD, was that a lot of the tools that worked the first time around, were less effective after a few years of use. All those quotes? Seen 'em. There's not many I haven't come across. I've been a bit desensitized to the message. So I'm always looking. I'm always talking. These days, I'm always writing.

Whatever it takes, whatever works for you, do it.
Just as long as it keeps you going.

Came across a few videos of people using the song "Flowers" by Moby to do challenges involving up and down movements. Most commonly, pushups. The super-hard-core CrossFitters will do squats, often with a bar on their back. Frankly, I think the pushups seem hard enough as it is! The song is pretty long.

Even the guys in the video below start dropping out one by one.

Maybe this will have to be a side challenge for me. Something to work on until the Badass Dash. I've gotten better at pushups and planking, but that really only means that I can do them, from having not been able to do them at all. This? This is several steps up when it comes to power and endurance.

It's a little bit like making the parents in my Baby Time program at the library do the "Grand Old Duke of York" with their babies, walking in a circle and lifting the kids up and down. "When they were up they were up, and when they were down they were down." Except THAT song is a lot less intense. The Duke's got nothin' on Sally.

I had avoided the climbing wall at camp for 15 years. In all the time I worked at Camp Wenonah, much of it full-time, year-round, I never tried to climb. It was one of the few areas of camp that was a “never” for me. And the trepidation and fear of failure that went with it needed to be overcome. Not a fear of heights. Not a fear of falling. A fear of fatness. Of being too fat to fit into the harness, and too fat for the ropes to hold, and too fat to be able to lift myself up.

So, on an alumni weekend in May 2013, I found myself standing at the base of the wall, nervously being harnessed in. I figured I was stronger, I was thinner, I was more flexible, and it was time.

I tried it. I made it.
And it was nothing like I expected it to be.

See, I'd watched campers and staff climb that thing for years. It looked easy enough. I thought it was about strength, in particular arm strength. I thought it was about speed and agility. As it turns out, climbing is a lot like the weight loss journey itself: it's about patience and persistence.

The first few steps are pretty easy. You're close to the ground. If you fall, you just start again. It's pretty safe and there's not a lot of fear. Yet! You try a few different ways, because you're just figuring out how it feels. The consequences of failing, or falling off, they're not so dire because you haven't invested a lot of time and energy yet, and you haven't progressed very far. You just put your foot on the ground and then you start again.

The further up you go, the more tired you get. The desire to just quit, or at least rest, kicks in. Especially when you're doing it in the spring at the peak of blackfly season! (Seriously. I was so bloody and bitten by the time I got back down because I couldn't exactly swat at them when I was clinging to the wall for dear life). It's quite a mental game, telling yourself to keep on going when you'd rather just rappel back down and go grab a cold beer.

I had some great people at the bottom, belaying and coaching. They wouldn't let me give up. Not only did they encourage me, they offered suggestions. They had a better view of the whole wall, they could see where I needed to go, and where the holds were. When I was right up against the wall, I couldn't see everything. All I could see was what was right in front of me. You can't climb alone for safety reasons, obviously, but it started to dawn on me: you can't climb alone, period, because you can't take this kind of journey all by yourself. It doesn't work. You need support along the way. You need people to guide you, to hold the rope and help catch you if you fall, and who can take a step back and see the bigger picture in a way that you can't. You also need people who know how to give positive encouragement. They never barked orders. They never got impatient or frustrated with me, even though they were getting eaten by blackflies, too. My team just stayed calm and practical, talking me through the options for each next step. They wanted me to succeed, and they were phenomenal cheerleaders.

With climbing, there is no right path. The goal is to get to the top. It really doesn't matter how you get there. And you make use of whatever you possibly can. So, at one point, I was near the edge. In my head I thought "you can only use the holds that are screwed on to the wall." A wise voice from below called up, "use whatever you can put your hands on!" Like, uh, the giant post holding the whole wall up, and the bolt sticking out of it? Yeah. On a mountain or rock face, there's definitely no clear path. If you can put your hand or foot on it for leverage, you do it. Why wouldn't I do the same on this journey? Use every resource you can, whether it's conventional or not.

Inch by inch, I made my way to the top. It was super slow. There were points that I found myself in a relatively comfortable position, on holds that had enough space for my feet to rest, and for my hands to grip without my fingers wanting to fall off. I kept looking around. The next step was just barely out of reach, seeming impossible. It was hard to let go of the comfortable spot I was at, to make the very uncomfortable and risky move to reach for the next hold. But that's why I was stuck. Until I tried, until I reached and grasped, I wasn't going to move forward. It took me a few tries. I fell off. Had I not been harnessed in and held on with a rope, I'd have actually fallen to the ground. But I just fell off the wall, floated mid-air for a second, and grabbed back on. It's okay to try and fail, because without taking that risk, you can't move. Literally. You may have to try more than once.

Because of the time of year, camp had just opened. No school groups had come through yet, and I was the first one on the wall. I think that the holds had only been set up the day before. Some of them weren't tightened, so when I went to grab them, they turned, making them even harder to use. I found myself getting mad at whoever had set up the wall. I needed someone to blame. I think I did that a lot when it came to my weight. When I was on the wall, though, it didn't really matter who was to blame for the situation I was in; I was IN that situation. Blaming anyone else just wasn't going to help me move on. I had to let it go and focus on what I was going to do, what I could do with what was right in front of me. I had to take the responsibility for getting myself up the wall, regardless of who had placed the holds where.

When I finally made it to the top, I'll be honest: it was anti-climactic. I was like, "okay ... I made it ... now what?" I touched the top, posed for a picture, and then rapelled back down so that we could get on to the next activity. (Mini golf, where - incidentally - I got a hole in one!). Reaching the goal felt okay, but what felt much better was the climb itself. What felt great, in retrospect, was what I went through to get there and what I learned along the way.

I thought that climbing the wall at camp would be about getting to the top and celebrating. That it would be about feeling pride in finally trying something new. It was, but what has stuck with me for much longer is the humbling metaphor for the weight loss journey. It's a constant climb. You can't do it alone. There is no right path to get to the top. You may get eaten alive along the way. But the only way to get there is one step at a time, taking a few risks along the way, with patience and persistence.

I can almost see it.
That dream I'm dreaming, but
There's a voice inside my head saying
You'll never reach it
Every step I'm takin'
Every move I make
Feels lost with no direction,
My faith is shakin'
But I, I gotta keep tryin'
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down, but
No I'm not breaking
I may not know it, but
These are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep goin',
And I, I gotta be strong
Just keep pushing on, 'cause

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side

It's the climb

 

Music is a huge motivator for me. It's always been important in my life (yep, band geek, right here), and the right song at the right time can have a tremendous emotional impact. Last night was one of those nights, when I didn't want to get off the elliptical from my warm-up to go to the core class, and after TRX I wanted to keep rockin' so I plugged in and got back on a machine. Now, the machines are about the least effective thing I can do at the gym. I know this. But for not getting myself tangled in ear-bud cords and being able to just rock out to a playlist? Number one. There are moments when, if I could get away with it, I'd be singing out loud instead of just mouthing along, and I'd be the happiest girl on a treadmill. It's about as close to dancing as I get.

So, when I don't feel like working out? It's usually the music that gets me going. I have a pretty good imagination, which can get me in trouble in real life, but I try to use it to my advantage at the gym. Sometimes the music helps, sometimes not. I make up stories in my head, like I'm in some kind of competition and different people are cheering for me, while others are doubting me. Seriously. I make up fake mean girls in my mind just to show them. It's a strange but healthy kind of revenge, since I don't actually have any feelings of needing to get even or "show" anyone in reality. But having some kind of enemy to defeat makes for better warriors, I guess. It's all in the script you create for yourself.

There was one day when Mat and another trainer and a client were watching me and trying to get my attention while I was on the rowing machine. I was oblivious. They couldn't figure out what I was staring at, on the ceiling. But in my head I was on a lake in Muskoka, rowing past pine trees and soaking up the sun. Because goodness knows that the grey crap on the ceiling and walls is less than inspiring! In your head, you can be whatever or wherever you want.

When you have trouble writing your own script, the song lyrics make good substitutes. Sometimes I listen closely to the music and make up video montages in my mind. The only down side to this trick, if you happen to be creative AND obsessive, is that you can waste a lot of time once you're home actually MAKING the videos you came up with in your imagination. Um. Not that I know this from personal experience, or anything.

The point is, that when you find the right music for YOU, it can be a powerful motivator and make something that could otherwise be boring or feel like a punishment, into something fun and creative. Some days, anything with a good beat works for me. Other times, I need very specific kinds of songs. When the voice in my head is mean and nasty, telling me I can't do this, don't deserve to do this, am weak or a fraud, I have to literally drown her out with lyrics that combat those messages. I stream every song of survival, strength, bad-ass warrior superhero ninja, winner attitude directly into my brain and override the mean girl who sometimes lives there. Hearing a message enough times helps you start to believe it, and if you can't get your own brain to say it, there are plenty of musicians and artists who will do it for you.

So. What I do listen to? Cheese.

Fast-paced, upbeat tempos paired with the hoakiest lyrics that make me feel empowered.
I edit my script.
I tell myself I'm strong. I am a fighter. I can win. I can be great. Hard work and dedication? I have it.
"I can go the distance."
"Just because it burns doesn't mean you're gonna die."
"I had bad habits but I dropped them."
"Right now! It's your tomorrow."
"You're gonna hear me roar."

Check it. Here are a few examples:

My social media feeds are full of status updates and graphics telling me that 2014 is going to be that person's year, and that this person is putting 2014 on notice. That they can't wait to say goodbye to 2013 and make 2014 their year. Believe me, I've been there. There are some years that you really, truly, can't wait to say goodbye to.

A lot of new year's hyperbole centres around the idea of a fresh start. That, somehow, the slate is wiped clean when the clock changes. You know what? The slate is never clean. Your past still exists. You can't turn back the clock. There is no backspace button for life. January 1st is just another day.

Which is why I have always been uncomfortable with New Year's resolutions.
Most years, I never made them. People would assume that weight loss would be my goal, or they'd tell me it should be. Some years I would half-heartedly announce some grandiose plans. But they never stuck.

In fact, when I decided to start swimming, it was between Christmas and New Year's of 2011. I had lost a bit of weight since the summer, just enough that I knew clothes fit differently and people asked, hesitantly, "have you lost some weight?" My body was telling me it wanted to move. I felt, for the first time, like exercising. And I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that if I waited until January 1st that it simply wouldn't happen. The pools were closed Christmas Day and Boxing Day. I swam lengths on December 27th. I think I barely made it for 15 minutes. The next day, I was in the pool again. And the day after that. By the time January 1st of 2012 rolled around, I had already swum enough days in a row to feel like a swimmer. The habit wasn't fully formed yet, but I was confident that I would keep it up.

And, I did.

But that`s a story for another day.

Today, on the first day of 2014, two full years later, what I am thinking about is how starting swimming on December 27th was the best thing I ever did. Not waiting *until* a certain time. When I was ready, I started.

Over the last few years, I have had many moments of wanting to give up. Questioning whether the effort was all worth it. The only way I kept going when it was overwhelming was that I took it one day at a time. And when I slipped up, I started over again. Every day provided the same fresh start as January 1st. Every day, I resolved to keep trying.

Folks, a year is a long time. A lot can happen. A lot of things you can't possibly plan for can happen. Which is ultimately why so many resolutions made at a time like this fail. They're vague. They're often negative, all about erasing our flaws in one fell swoop. Out with the old, in with the new. But it doesn't work that way.

It's small changes, one at a time, that build up over the year. It's the sum of what you do, day in and day out, that make up the year. I was not where I wanted to be, at the end of 2013. Yet, as I look back over the past year, I have to admit: it kind of WAS my year. I flipped tires. I portaged a canoe on a 6-day trip. I met a lot of new friends. I increased the number of pushups I could do. I tried things for the first time, like racquetball and doing a keg stand (!) and scaling a climbing wall. How can a few bad weeks negate all of that, just because they happen to fall at the end of the year and not in the middle?

So. No resolutions this year. Not New Year's ones, at least.
Wake up every day and commit or re-commit to myself. Keep going. That is what I resolve to do.
To look forward, and make the rest of my life the best of my life, not just this year.

Another year I made a promise to myself. Another year, I turned it all around.
"Do not save this for tomorrow. Embrace the past and you can live for now."