Blog Archives

This Girl Can

1/20/2015

There's a video that has been making the viral rounds this past week. It's the promo for a campaign in the UK to get women more active. Sponsored by Sport England, the video is remarkable for showing real women doing myriad activities, and is more inclusive than many typical fitness promotions. The intial message is to do what you love, there are plenty of options, and physical activity is for all ages, sizes, and abilities. Very positive, that.

The campaign was created because the statistics are dismal when it comes to body image affecting women's reluctance to get active. We worry too much about what others think. "Fear of judgement is stopping many of us from taking part in exercise." There are 2 million fewer active women than men in the UK, and 75% say they want to do more but cite "fear of judgement as why they keep out of sport and activity." I'm sure many of us can relate.

There are pros and cons to the campaign. First, the video:

What's good about This Girl Can:

It is much more inclusive than similar campaigns have historically been. Age, race, various levels of ability, and most body types are more broadly represented.
The purpose is to get women to overcome judgment and shame that they feel, to "wiggle, jiggle, and even sweat" no matter what anyone thinks.
It "celebrates women in sport regardless of their physical appearance," and does not focus "on fitness being the means to achieve a certain body type." The focus is on being active without the pressure to achieve thinness.
Sports which are often considered male dominated, like boxing or raquetball, are included. It's not all yoga and Zumba.
Speaking of the men, even though this campaign is aimed at women, anything which helps to show real women's bodies in a positive light benefits the guys, too. Enough with the tanned, fitness-model-sex-pose, skimpily-clad women being used to promote health. Men need to see images of "real" women just as much as the ladies do. It normalizes something that should already be normal.
Swimming! There is swimming, prominently featured! Love that.

Where they missed the mark:

Refers to women of all ages as "girls" instead of, well, women. Or athletes. "Women’s sporting bodies have been subject to a long history of infantilisation, and as the American philosopher Iris Marion Young said, “throwing like a girl” is a common insult that excludes women from feeling strong, capable and respected." There are some 50 year olds who are speaking out against the campaign, because it excludes seniors and focuses on the 14-40 demographic.
The focus is still on the flesh, on women as sexualized objects. The captions indicate that we should enjoy exercise despite how others perceive our physical flaws, which reinforces that they are still flaws.
I didn't see any obese bodies, only fat ones. Why stop half-way? Show people like me being as active as I am, not just the women who have a little jiggle. There was some disappointing reinforcement of what an acceptable body is, even though this campaign pushed the boundaries broader for what is acceptable.
"It’s disappointing that a campaign to get women more physically active doesn’t focus on how exercise strengthens friendship, reduces the stress of work and care and gives us physical and emotional strength. And we suppose it would be far too much to ask to see a campaign that shows exercise as an opportunity to find an active space outside the cult of body worship and display."
Able-bodied women are privileged in this campaign. There are no wheelchairs, canes, crutches, or obvious physical disabilities included in the video. Granted, the images move quickly. I think there is one girl with developmental challenges. It's just worth pointing out that it's not as inclusive as it's being made out to be.

Ultimately, the campaign is a really positive step in the right direction. It has caught the world's attention. It has expanded a very narrow view of health and fitness just a little bit further. And it has people talking. Where this campaign fell short, many others have not even come close. This Girl Can has raised the bar for how the media portrays and talks about fitness and sport, which has been a long time coming.

Read more about "This Girl Can":

Promising hope in the treatment of Binge Eating Disorder

1/17/2015

A study on the effectiveness of an ADHD drug on Binge Eating Disorder was published in the journal JAMA Psychiatry. Doctor Freedhoff explains the significance on his blog, Weighty Matters, in the post from January 15:

Yesterday a study was published in JAMA Psychiatry. In it researchers looks at the impact of 14 weeks of 3 different doses of lisdexamfetamine (Vyvance) on binge eating disorder and weight in 260 patients via a randomized, double-blind, parallel-group, forced dose titration, placebo-controlled trial. Eligibility for the study included meeting the DSM-IV criteria for binge eating disorder, having a BMI between 25 and 45, and being between the ages of 18 and 55. There were a boatload of exclusion criteria with perhaps the most important being having any other eating or psychiatric disorder, having had a history of substance abuse, or having been recently treated with a psychostimulant, or having had a recent psychological or weight management treatment history.

The study's primary endpoint was the number of self-scored binge eating days, and among the secondary endpoints was weight.

The results were striking, especially in those taking the highest dose who nearly stopped binging.

Weight loss was also not insignificant, again, especially with the higher dose, with those folks losing an average of nearly 10lbs over the 11 weeks (versus an average loss of 1/5th of a pound for those taking a placebo).

Unfortunately there were also side effects with dramatically more people in the highest dosing arm reporting dry mouth, and insomnia. All told 5% of the highest dosing arm dropped out due to adverse effects.

While far from conclusive, this study is promising. Binge eating disorder is a tremendously difficult condition to endure. Psychologically it can be devastating due to overwhelming feelings of guilt which in turn can lead to decreased self-esteem and decreased perceived self-efficacy. Right now treatment for binge eating disorder involves cognitive behavioural therapy, and indeed, there's fair success, but were there a safe medication that could be used as an adjunct to counselling, speaking personally, I'd be thrilled.

There's still lots of work to be done to prove long term efficacy, safety, and tolerability. Fingers crossed.

What I find the most heartening about the study is the fact that it was even done. So much money is invested in magic weight loss pills, where the focus is on how to burn fat or alter the body ... especially without having to change eating or exercise habits. Whether Vyvance is as effective as it appears to be, based on a preliminary and relatively small study, I like that they're (a) looking for drugs which help to alter behaviour, and (b) that B.E.D. is being taken more and more seriously as a legitmate psychological condition.

It's a small ray of hope, but it's still a ray.

Talking about Fat

1/12/2015

It's hard to talk about fat. The word is so loaded, because we've assigned it meaning and implications far beyond the true definition. Fat is just adipose tissue. Saying "I have fat" or "I am fat" should carry no moral implications, should have no association with good or bad, insult or praise. It shouldn't imply laziness, uncleanliness, unworthiness, unattractiveness, or a lack of willpower.

And, yet, it often does.

And, so, it's hard to talk about.

I have re-gained a lot of weight. My estimate is 30-40 lbs, not that it makes a difference, but somehow I feel like I need to justify the significance of saying "weight regain." Because it's this big elephant in the room that nobody will talk about. It's not a few holiday pounds, or a bit of bloat. It's real, and it's a lot, and it's impacting me. Everyone was eager to comment when I lost weight. It's a different story on the way up than on the way down.

Talking about weight is a delicate and tricky subject. Bringing it up is really not a good idea, because no matter how genuine you feel your intentions are, the result is often negative. Trust me. Fat people know we're fat. We know when we're putting pounds on. We all feel how well our clothes fit, or don't. There is no need - ever - to have an international Warn A Friend They're Fat day, as one doctor was trying to do in the U.K. last week. There have been studies done on the effect of fat shaming (which this very much is), and what was found is that the worse people feel about themselves, the more likely they are to GAIN weight, not to lose it. Well, duh. Anecdotally, I can verify that this is true. The more people tried to tell me what I needed to do, the more "concern" they showed, the more I dug in my heels and went "screw you, it's MY body." And when I did make attempts to fix that body, it was with the understanding that it was because it was unacceptable and had to be changed to be okay. I knew, because people told me so. Not helpful. Not healthy.

But there's a flip side that I'm experiencing. I don't need friends and family to warn me that I'm fat, but if and when I bring it up myself, I need it to be acknowledged. I've gained weight. That's not an opinion, and that's not a put-down. It's just fact. Denying it is not any more helpful or useful to me than pointing it out is.

Perhaps it's because they've become used to how I talk about myself, which is often self-deprecating or downright mean. So the knee-jerk reaction is to say "stop hating on yourself" or "you look just fine" when I mention my expanding belly. But, what I'm really saying is simply "I. Have. Gained. Weight." I'm working on turning that around. The why of the weight gain, and the how, are what the conversation should be about, but the focus is on "no, no, you haven't" or "don't worry, you look okay."

You know, being morbidly obese makes you invisible. It's a contradiction, because you take up more space than the average person, but you stop being seen. I need for the weight gain to be seen, because *I* need to not be invisible.

So, it's a fine line, isn't it? Rule of thumb: don't tell anyone they're fat. If they are, they know. But if they bring it up to you, listen to the words that are used. Are they talking emotionally or literally? I "feel" fat is different than I "am" fat, which can also mean something different than I "have" fat. It's great to point out when they are using words that imply shame or loathing or negativity about weight. I fall into that trap, too. Friends don't let friends "fat talk" and put themselves down. But if, like I've done a few times lately, we're having a conversation about exercise, health, and/or weight, and I pat my belly and say "I'm still exercising almost every day, but I'm enjoying beer a little too much. It's all about the eating," then it's just an acknowledgement of reality. It's an opening to talk about food, perhaps. Or to talk about why. Or to talk strategy on how to deal with it. Friends don't let their friends live in denial, either.

Being fat shouldn't automatically mean an insult. Listen to what's really being said.
See with your eyes. Listen with your heart.

If we can learn to talk about it openly and honestly, it might go a long way to helping reduce much of the shame that is associated with it. And that's got to be better for everyone's health, in the long run.

The Future of the Blog

1/2/2015

I regular reader posted a question on the Facebook page related to this site: "keeping the blog going for 2015? I miss your posts!"

The short answer? Yes.

The longer answer? Yes, but...

There are a lot of little reasons that the posts have been absent for over a month. In practical terms, there are some technical frustrations that make it harder to post often, even if it's simply re-posting other people's articles. The platform I use to create and host the site, Weebly, is very user-friendly and simple. But they updated mid-Fall, and I now find that posts no longer automatically save as you go. Readers, I have written and lost more posts than you know! Changes and editing don't stick. If I write the post in Word, copying and pasting messes with formatting in a way that is painfully laborious to undo, but when I attempt to write the posts IN the blog, I lose a lot. On top of which, I use a very old, very slow laptop at home which overheats and shuts down more often than it should. So, the frustration levels associated with blogging have increased lately, and I don't often have time to post or edit from my work computer.

There's also the issue of content. When I started the blog, there was a real need in me to share my story and get it out there. Get it off my chest, so to speak. I was also getting many of the same kinds of questions, and was emailing the same answers, the same story, over and over. I wanted to have all the parts of my story - the practical, the emotional, the advice, the venting - in one place where I could direct people if they asked. I've done that, and I've written about the topics which were burning to get out, and which I most often get asked about. Now? Now, it's the trickier topics to untangle, and those are time-consuming to write about. Wading through research, or finding an angle from which I haven't already approached fitness, health, weight loss, weight gain, eating disorders or body image takes more creative imagination.

When I first started this, I didn't have a plan but my goal was to keep up blogging for at least a year. I've read and followed too many similar blogs, which end up falling by the wayside. You know why? It's hard. It's time consuming. It's a full-time job for many writers, and I'm doing it in my spare time because I feel like it. Even blogs which have become big in the world of weight loss journeys, the ones which have a lot of content frequently posted and are supported by paid advertising or donations, they have a shelf life of 2-4 years. I barely made it through the first year.

Time.
Motivation.
Ideas.
Research.
Technology.

And then there's where I am, personally. Weight re-gain, and a fall off the wagon that makes it hard to keep writing and blogging and reading about topics which I associate more with shame and loathing than I did a year ago. As I mentioned in yesterday's post about the resolution to say "no" to more things, and "yes" to myself (with a re-focus on weight loss), I haven't been taking very good care of myself. I haven't been making the time to do the work of reflecting and learning and addressing reasons behind the Binge Eating, and I haven't been making the time to prepare good foods, or to write down and track my nutrition. I *have* been making plenty of time to enjoy beer and wine and friends, and it's caught up with me.

For all of those reasons, the answer is, "yes, I will still keep blogging, BUT..." It may not be as frequent as when I started. There may be more "hey look at this article, it seems interesting" links or re-posts. And when it seems to become too much, then I'll stop and go on to the next project.

After all, it's a small blog with a small following, and most of you know me in real life.

However, I am extremely grateful for those of you who do check in regularly to see what's new, who ask me about the blog, and who express some lovely compliments about it. That has been one of the most gratifying outcomes of this little project. Here's hoping I can squeeze out at least another year's worth of content!

Resolving to say "no"

1/1/2015

Typically, I avoid making New Year's resolutions. They're often negative, they don't stick, and they're usually about exercise and weight loss. But this year I've been telling people that my half-hearted resolution is to start saying "no."

What I really mean by that is that I need to practice better self-care.

I overextended myself by saying "yes" to too many things at the end of 2014. I have a hard time with no, for a variety of reasons. Guilt. People-pleasing. Wanting to be nice. Someone told me once that I have too many friends, and I scoffed because I don't believe it's possible. You can never have too many good people in your life. What I do believe is that it's hard to manage and juggle all the relationships and needs in an effective way.

November and December were pretty packed with a variety of social engagements. Holiday parties, both personal and professional. Keeping up with the work out schedule. Sometimes trying to fit in two or three things in one evening, after a day of work, and not getting home until way past my bedtime. I spent very little time in my apartment, and even less time in front of a computer.

When you say yes to one thing, you by default say no to another. As I said yes to volunteer events, committees, parties, lunch and dinner dates, chats with friends, holiday shopping, shows, and everything in between, I was saying no to sleep, to healthy and planned eating, and to daily life maintenance. I said no to self-care, in the physical and emotional senses. With no time to recharge, when I got sick it knocked me on my arse for a solid four days. I lost even more time, because I had stretched myself too thin and couldn't fight off the cold.

I also said no to blogging, to accommodate some of the real-life stuff I had been doing.

Once you lose momentum, it's hard to get it back. Skipping a few weeks here and there, always intending to catch up, but you never do. It happened with food and eating habits. It happened with spending. And it happened with blogging.

What I found was that, despite saying yes for all the right reasons, wanting and needing to spend time with special people in my life, I wasn't at my best. Committing to two parties in one night meant that I wasn't fully present at either and friends probably felt it. It meant that I didn't have the emotional energy for conversations and support when it was needed. It meant that I didn't enjoy myself as much as I could or should have.

So. I resolve to say no to things when it means that I need a down night, or time to myself to recharge, because in the end it makes me a better friend and a better person. I resolve to say no to things if it means I'm putting some of my needs first.

I resolve to remind myself that when I say "no" to others, I am saying "yes" to myself.
And that's perfectly fine. Because I think we all win, in the end, when we are our best selves.

Whose blog, now?

From the gut, about the gut, trying to listen to what my gut tells me.

I'm just a girl, fighting the same weight battle as much of the population. Lost 100 lbs, working on the rest, trying to find balance between health, fitness, and vanity. I'm also a librarian who wants to share credible information and reliable resources, in addition to my own musings and reflections, what I call "my writing from the gut."